home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Over 1,000 Windows 95 Programs
/
Over 1000 Windows 95 Programs (Microforum) (Disc 1).iso
/
0614
/
data.1
/
quotes.txt
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1996-11-04
|
7KB
|
234 lines
186,282 miles per second:
It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!
%
"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
simulation!"
%
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
"Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-- Mahatma Ghandi
%
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg
%
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain
%
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
as afterward.
%
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
-- Bill Vaughan
%
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
wants to read.
-- Mark Twain
%
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
%
A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
%
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the
subject.
-- Winston Churchill
%
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch
dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
%
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%
A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened
into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the
hope of greening the landscape of idea.
-- John Ciardi
%
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
-- William James
%
A great nation is any mob of people which produces at least one honest
man a century.
%
A hypothetical paradox:
What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security
team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of
Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?
-- Tom Galloway
%
A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
%
A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is
not worth knowing.
%
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America.
%
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
%
A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard
-- Prof. Steiner
%
... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he
was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
-- Mark Twain
%
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an
exam.
%
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.
%
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
%
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
-- Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
%
All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely
than others.
-- Alan Truscott
%
"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us
sane."
%
"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right
hands."
-- Saint Patrick
%
Anthony's Law of Force:
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
%
Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art.
-- Charles McCabe
%
Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger
object.
%
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec
%
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
-- Publilius Syrus
%
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your
shoes.
-- Mickey Mouse
%
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein
%
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
-- Weisert
%
"As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500
programs; a process that traditionally requires some debugging."
-- USA Today, referring to the IRS switchover to a new
computer system.
%
At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will
find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on
the computer.
%
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
%
Bureaucrat, n.:
A person who cuts red tape sideways.
-- J. McCabe
%
But scientists, who ought to know
Assure us that it must be so.
Oh, let us never, never doubt
What nobody is sure about.
-- Hilaire Belloc
%
Cahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.
%
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb
%
Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two
points.
-- M. M. Johnston
%
Supplement:
A .44 magnum beats four aces.
%
Cat, n.:
Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
%
Chemistry is applied theology.
-- Augustus Stanley Owsley III
%
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're
going to catch you in next.
-- Franklin P. Jones
%
Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
-- Ogden Nash
%
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.
%
Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
%
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-- R. Geis
%
"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".
%
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
%
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too
busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
%
Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
%
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together ...
-- Carl Zwanzig
%
Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate
and captain of your soul.
%
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there."
-- Will Rogers
%
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not
spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way
of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
-- Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
%
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
%
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
-- F. P. Jones
%
Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and
the instruction afterward.
%
Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic
without looking to see whether the seeds move.
%
Famous last words:
(1) "Don't worry, I can handle it."
(2) "You and what army?"
(3) What happens if you touch these two wires tog--
(4) Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
%
Frisbeetarianism, n.:
The belief that when you die, your soul goes up the on roof and
gets stuck.